I always knew I wanted to be a Proverbs 31 woman even if I didn't know that was thing that already existed. Not just in word, but in lifestyle — in purpose, in legacy, in how I carried myself through this world. I remember the moment I knew that is what I wanted to be.
The Gate, the Peace, and the Plan
I was on a quiet drive, passing through a modestly wealthy neighborhood in Minnesota. The roads were smooth and well-kept, flanked by tall, proud trees that stood like watchmen, tracing the edges of each property. There were no sidewalks — just the clean simplicity of earth and asphalt, where nature and craftsmanship met in quiet agreement.
Between the trees, beautiful brick walls and black wrought iron gates revealed glimpses of the life tucked behind them. You could just make out the long, winding driveways — more like private roads — leading up to homes that felt set apart, not just physically, but spiritually.
For a moment, I felt something I rarely experience in this world: total serenity. Not the kind of peace that comes and goes with circumstance, but the kind that settles in your bones; the sweetness of being alive on earth. In that stillness, I thought — this is as close as we get to life as God intended. A family, safe and well, flourishing in private. Not for display — without need of worldly, social validation. Just living. Together, as they are without any pressure to conform or change. In my case that meant "black", something I observed from an extremely young age was not always welcomed in Minnesota spaces. Especially, when it wasn't stereotypical. And I don't just mean among other races — I notice that people seemed embarrassed to be themselves all the time, and that was influenced by a society that placed lowered expectations and limitations on them, and a silent hostility that they might be intruded upon and a chronic eagerness to intrude. I love who I was. I loved who my father was. I loved what we looked like and I loved the beautiful earth God blessed us to share together.
So I always knew what I wanted to be: a wife — one who looked and carried herself like me, partnered with a man like my father, in a private space beyond the gate, much like those homes I admired. I dreamed of nurturing a family that would carry joy across generations — a legacy of people living full, rich lives in their own way, untouched by outside expectations.
I envisioned a home where there were no intrusions on identity — just a sacred place with a woman always present to celebrate who they are and share in the joy of simply being. That was the dream. That was the mission.
I never had a desire to chase a career out in the world, because my heart has always been set on serving within — to be in service to my husband’s mission, to honor his vision for our lives, to submit to a plan that was divinely rooted in DNA, not shaped by strangers or passing demands.
I’ve always known I’m special — that I carry something deeply valuable. But I also knew it was never meant to be squandered on the world. My gifts were crafted for family, for kingdom-building, for home. Even my name declares it: The Crown Who Meets With Wealth. A matriarch in purpose, by design.
The most sacred thing I can imagine is a home — not just a house, but a sanctuary housing a blood-related, lifelong, generational team. A team whose members are individually whole, emotionally well, and at peace with themselves and each other. A family that walks through life side by side, rooted in shared purpose and mutual love.
To me, that’s the ultimate vision: a legacy of people who are not just surviving together, but flourishing — spiritually, emotionally, and generationally.
What I never wanted was to be reduced — like Esau, who traded his birthright for a single bowl of what Jacob had prepared. That’s exactly how it felt when adults would ask me what I wanted to be, and then respond with those looks — you know the ones. Disappointed. Dismissive. Almost offended, as if desiring a life built around family and faith was naïve or small.
But I never wanted to be acceptable to people who felt entitled to intrude on who God created me to be.
I wasn’t seeking validation from them — I was seeking alignment with purpose. I dreamed of a life where I was so deeply rooted in my role, in my calling, that I’d have a family attorney on speed dial just to help ensure any necessary interactions with the outside world didn’t violate the sanctity of what I was building.
Because peace is precious. Legacy is intentional. And my life, from the very beginning, has been about building a team that outlives me — not performing for people who never saw the value in it. That’s not just a dream. That’s a calling. A gift. A life worth protecting behind a gate.
See, I don’t believe peace should be free-roaming and exposed for everyone to grab at. Gods plan is real to me. And those gates — as beautiful as they were — sent a clear message: what’s inside is cared for, it has the freedom to go with God and what’s outside can’t just walk in. That felt right to me. Because the world is chaotic, and chaotic people will always try to draw you in, pressure you to conform, to choose their path, to “do life their way.” But I never wanted that.
I’ve always wanted the husband. The children. The lush landscaping. The iron gate. And yes — the family attorney, because if I ever have to leave that sanctuary and confront something that intrudes on Gods path for me, I want someone on hand to handle it so I can hurry home to the most important thing in life — my people.
That’s the life I desire. Not because I’m avoiding responsibility, but because I know my responsibility — and I honor it. God created this role for me, and I have never been embarrassed to say I want it. I never have been. And I doubt I ever will. Because while the world is loud and hungry for control, I am quietly, joyfully building a life that honors God, protects peace, and makes room for love to grow — behind a gate.
We don’t begin this life on our own — and that reality plays a major role in shaping the paths we take. Our environments, the people around us, and the expectations we absorb can either nurture our true desires or push them into hiding.
But I felt led to write this — for any young woman who has ever felt the way I did. The ones who’ve quietly longed for a life built on love, legacy, and peace, but who’ve been made to feel like that dream is unimportant, unrealistic, or only reserved for certain people with a certain background.
Let me tell you: it’s not.
It’s not unimportant. It’s not unattainable. And it’s not limited by pedigree, status, or race.
It’s okay to want more than what the world has to offer. It’s okay to want what God placed in your heart — even if it doesn’t come with a title, a spotlight, or applause. Pursue that desire boldly. Because now that I’m grown, I can tell you with full confidence: my dream was never childish. It wasn’t naïve. It wasn’t imaginary.
It was me. And it still is.
And maybe… it’s you, too.
To be a Proverbs 31 woman in this world is not easy. It’s radical. It’s spiritual warfare. It's soft strength in a hard world. It’s building with one hand and shielding your spirit with the other. It’s business and boundaries. Grit and grace. Discipline and divinity. And while many people chase the spotlight, I have chosen to steward my light — to shine in my home, in my relationships, in my community — and build a legacy of love that won’t fade when the applause does.
I am a solid woman with a different view. My lens isn’t broken — it’s holy. My values aren’t outdated — they’re eternal. And I refuse to let this world strip me of the sacredness I was born to carry.
The world, to me, is a side note — a challenge, yes, but not the prize. The people I get to love and grow and share this life with? They are, we are the story. Earth, humanity, and the relationships we form — they’re the sweetness. They’re the treasure. And I consider it the highest honor to live that truth boldly.
I’ll never apologize for that. I’m a Proverbs 31 woman in a beautiful world, often inhabited by wicked people — and God has preserved me for a role such as this.
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Sayings of King Lemuel
31 The sayings of King Lemuel—an inspired utterance his mother taught him.
2 Listen, my son! Listen, son of my womb!
Listen, my son, the answer to my prayers!
3 Do not spend your strength on women,
your vigor on those who ruin kings.
4 It is not for kings, Lemuel—
it is not for kings to drink wine,
not for rulers to crave beer,
5 lest they drink and forget what has been decreed,
and deprive all the oppressed of their rights.
6 Let beer be for those who are perishing,
wine for those who are in anguish!
7 Let them drink and forget their poverty
and remember their misery no more.
8 Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves,
for the rights of all who are destitute.
9 Speak up and judge fairly;
defend the rights of the poor and needy.
Epilogue: The Wife of Noble Character
10 A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
31 Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.
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